Breaking at the Bend

by Jason Ludwig

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about

Hard to believe it has been four years already. Some days it feels like yesterday. Today feels like that.
This song was recorded a couple years back. It felt like the right time to finally release it on this latest anniversary.
I don't know what to say about it other than this...
When he decided to leave us, I was very angry. Very hurt, but very angry. After talking about it with friends, family members, and my wife, it seemed maybe the best way to overcome the anger was to try to see things from his point of view in the best way I knew how. The result is what you'll hear.
It wasn't easy. You'll hear that too.
I consider myself lucky to have been his friend and musical companion. I miss him often, and it still hurts knowing he's not here. I'd trade this song in a breath (Hell, all of them!) to have him back. I know that's not going to happen, and this damn song is here to stay, but it did help me in some not entirely explicable way. I'll just leave it there.
Today, my love and prayers go out to all those who loved and miss him.
This one's for you, Mike, wherever you may be.

lyrics

Sorry, but I'm breaking clean at the bend
And come tomorrow, I want my sorrow to end
See, I've been thinking long and hard
If I'm wrong, I'll be given
To whatever Hell or Heaven you regard

I ain't got no bile or bitterness
And if you want the truth
I'm just tired of living this
Life that's mine to lose

Never have I felt more under the downpour
That if I take a breath
I feel I might drown to death
It ain't like a Magnolia rain
It's just rain
No conclusion
No denouement
No ending
Just endless

It's a crushing kind of heavy
Who are you to judge?
When it's mine, and mine to carry
And I just can't will it to budge

It's a crushing kind of heavy
Who are you to judge?
When it's mine, and mine to carry
And I just...

I ain't got no bile or bitterness
If you want the truth
I'm just tired of living
A life that's mine to lose

Sorry, but I'm breaking clean at the bend
And come tomorrow, I want my sorrow to end